Dog Stories part 1

I like most dogs okay, but some of their owners - well, that is a different story.  One case in point was our neighbors in the college town of Kent Ohio.  We had just moved into a large three story five bedroom home with our two young boys, John and David who were four and two respectively.  Tracy was six months pregnant with Daniel.  We lived on the top two floors and three friends lived on the first floor.   It was a corner lot with a small backyard lined with lilacs and equipped with a small swing set. 

Naturally Tracy wanted to make use of the yard.  She liked to sit outside and read and rest and smell the lilacs, while John and David played.  It seemed like an idyllic setting, except for our neighbors – and their dogs. 

The dogs were medium sized mutts, which our neighbor (we’ll call her Ruth) would release unleashed into her backyard, where there were no fences- electronic or otherwise, to do their business.  The problem was that these mutts were not even slightly sociable.  If any of us were in our yard when they came out, they would snarl and growl and bark and occasionally charge toward us.  But, even if we were not outside they would leave us presents in our backyard, near the swingset.  For a while I wanted to be neighborly and not cause too many problems with Ruth and her family, so if the boys wanted to play, I would go outside and police the yard with a shovel.  I had no desire for one of my sons to encounter what the dogs had left behind and perhaps … well why mention it.

But this went on for months and so one day I approached Ruth and explained the problem.  I politely asked her if she could make sure that her dogs did their business somewhere other than my yard.  As I talked to Ruth I was standing in her backyard and she was on the top step of her five step back porch staring down at me.  She didn’t blink, her face did not change expression, and she did not speak.  When I finished expressing my concerns she turned around and walked into the house, without comment.  I stood there for a moment thinking maybe she was going to return.  Then I thought – maybe she is getting her husband.  Then I thought – maybe she is getting a gun.  I decided to go back to my house and went inside.

My fear had been confirmed.  Our seemingly wonderful surroundings had a disturbing problem.  Our neighbors.  They were disturbed.  I didn’t know it then, but life is just that way.  I think since the Fall (in the Garden of Eden) nothing has ever been just right – at least not for very long.  There is always a reminder that this earth is now flawed.  So this little paradise of ours was marred by the disquieting behavior of the neighbors.

You would think that Ruth might have made an effort to change the dogs routine.  If there was such and effort, it was to no avail.  The dogs continued to harass us.  One early evening I was confronted by one of them in our side yard.   It  bared its teeth, growled, and I thought ( this is an ugly dog – I should kill it).  This thought was supported by the large heavy shovel I had been using.   If he charges I am going to whack him (both in the literal sense and in the Tony Soprano sense).  He did charge – full charge complete with snarling, drooling barks.  I raised the shovel to swing when I heard Ruth’s voice – YOU STOP THAT RIGHT NOW.  I didn’t know if she was yelling at me or the dog, but the mutt stopped turned around and retreated to the house, ambled up the steps and in, with Ruth right behind.

I now knew that Ruth knew.  If nothing changed –she just didn’t care.  That made sense – IF we were dealing with sensible people.  We were not. 

It all came to a head about a month later.  Daniel had arrived, so we now had three boys 4 and under.  Tracy was understandably exhausted and I was not getting much sleep.  One afternoon I came home from campus and found my beautiful wife looking like someone from the gulag – her eyes sunken with dark circles beneath, her hair coming out of the barrette and various food stains decorating her shirt – I was concerned, and afraid.  “Would you like me to take the boys outside so you can rest?” I asked, mustering as much concern as I could voice.  She didn’t speak – she simply got up walked into the bedroom and closed the door.   I gathered up the boys and went outside in our nice little backyard so John and David could play while I sat with Daniel.  Just as we got to the bottom of the steps I saw the neighbor’s mutt disappear into the house.   I knew.  So I asked the boys to sit on the steps and entrusted Daniel to John and proceeded to give the yard a once over.  While I was in the process of cleaning up, Ruth appeared on her back steps.  Maybe it was the lack of sleep.  Maybe I just had had enough, but whatever the reason, I walked right over to Ruth and said, “We don’t have dogs – but we do have dog poop.   I don’t think I should have to clean up after your dogs.  My kids (I pointed to them sweetly sitting on the steps – eyes big watching their Daddy in action) should be able to play in their yard and use their swing set without us having to worry about your dogs using our yard for a toilet.”  And then something happened.  Ruth spoke to me.  She said, “I don’t know what is wrong with those dogs.  I have told them to stay in their own yard.”  Without missing a beat I responded, “Well next time maybe you leave should them a note  – apparently they are hard of hearing.”

Ruth looked at me puzzled and then without a word wheeled around and went inside.  The dogs never again entered our yard.